Breakable
by Leledog
Summary: Gossip, a nasty thing that can tear a person apart. Countries and Humans are hardly different, down hill spirals can happen to both. What happens when gossip becomes to much for a certain nation to handle. Everyone's breakable.
1. Prologue

**Haha hey guys! Now i'm here with a eating disorder centered fanfic, yes it is Hetalia since its my main and #1 fandom. I will try to update my other stories but i have no inspiration for them yet so yeah...Anyways i hope you enjoy the story!**

It was another world meeting, ah world meetings. Such a interesting concept, all the countries of the world sitting in a meeting room discussing the worlds problems and how to fix it. Most would think they would have achieved so much with their combined knowledge from hundred of years however...

"STATE YOUR OWN OPINION OR ELSE I'LL BEAT YOU WITH MY PEACE PRIZE!"

"SHUT UP FROG!"

"BLACK SHEEP OF EUROPE"

"DOES ANYONE WANT A TASTY TREAT?"

"PASTAAA~ VE~ GERMANY! GERMANY!"

That was not the case. All the nations loathed world meetings for the utter waste of time. World meetings were good for one thing however, gossip. Gossip was everywhere in these meetings. Most of it was pointless sometimes you'll be able to find a good piece for black mail but that was the most of it.

Just like everything though, there was a rule for gossip. There's no boundaries. In gossip you can be as vicious or sweet as you like, it never matters that these words could tear a nation apart. Just like it doesn't matter if the gossip builds a nations ego, even though many have tried this rule can never be changed. Gossip however may just change the life of a certain nation. A country who has been kind to everyone, a country who has already gone through so much now has to deal with another enemy...Himself.

This is this Countries story. His struggle, His fall, everything.

-  
 **I'M SO SORRY FOR THAT FAIL OF A PROLOGUE! Now this is a really crappy prologue however the chapters will be better! Now like i said above this is a fanfic about Anorexia. I will try and get every fact correct and if you guys see anything that is wrong please PLEASE correct me. Anorexia is a serious disease that can happen to anyone, the same goes for all eating disorders. The reason why i'm writing this is to try and help those who are Anorexic or Bulimic or anything like that cope. I heard that these type's of things can help and in fact i wanna help... If your wondering why i added gossip in the prologue is that it adds a big role later on, i don't feel like giving out any spoilers though so yeah...i'll be trying to update this story every chance i get so yeah. If you review though it would be a big help to make me update faster! Please do, i love reading reviews.**


	2. Chapter one

**OH MY GOD** **THANK** **YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! 5 Reviews in 5 days that's amazing! Thank you all so much for reviewing! It makes me so happy and when i saw those reviews i was breathless and squealed and cheered so much my dad asked me if i won a million dollars. Thank you for all the reviews!**

 **-CHAPTER ONE THE BEGINNING.-**

Finland sighed as he leaned back in his chair, how long has the meeting gone on for again? Looking up at the clock Finland groaned quietly its only been 15 minutes since the meeting has started and so far it has been nothing but speeches about the countries economy.

It's great that's these countries economy's are doing great hell even Finland's has been doing much better, however many of the countries whose economy has improved have been gloating it that's just plain rude! Others shouldn't be rude, that was one of Finland's personal rules, Never be mean unless it's war or Russia. Closing his eyes he listened to all the conversations going on around him, sure it wasn't polite to listen to other conversations but what they don't know won't hurt them!

Ah lets see, China threw a fit this morning from not being able to find one of his many pandas. Finland made a mental note to ask him how he's doing, not being able to find your companion is terrifying, Finland remembered when he almost broke down crying when he couldn't find hanatamago ah the memories. Well lets see what else is there, Japan got some new outfit for dress up or what did he call it again, cosplay? Ah yes that must be it, what's a Kaito though? Finland decided to search it up once he got home, a certain conversation caught his ear.

"Are you sure he's not a she?" he heard America whisper, _who could he be talking about_ Finland thought.

"Oui i'm sure America, Finland's a he not a she" France whispered back.

"But he has such a curvy body! He has like no muscles! He looks so weak and girlish!" America whispered back oblivious that was a insult.

"America, do not underestimate Finland. He just has a feminine body and face" France whispered back as he looked at his nails.

"But he's Chubby! Aren't only girls chubby?" America asked France, oblivious to the shock and horror on France's face.

"Non America, Everyone is beautiful in their own way, now let's stop talking about Finland, the meetings over" France said as he grabbed his brief case and left the meeting room in a pissed off manner.

Finland gathered his things and walked out of the room, _I'm not that chubby, right? Maybe a little girlish but...oh i'll just look it up once i get home on that thing America talks about all the time, i think it's called BMI chart._ Finland called a cab and double checked he had his plane ticket back to Finland, Better safe then sorry!

"Where to pretty lady?" The cab driver asked with a wink, he was a young man around 23 with brown hair and blue eyes. _Should i remind him i'm a male? Well i don't wanna make things awkward...i'll just role with it_.

"The airport please" Finland said with a smile as he got in the cab, the seats were comfortable and it was clean inside thankfully.

"Where are you flying to?" The cab driver asked as he drove the car, obvious the driver was trying to make small talk.

"I'm actually flying back to Finland"

"Ah so that's where the accent's from, i was always told the prettiest girls came from Finland. It seems like they were right"

"T-Thank you, i suppose its true..." God flirting make Finland extremely uncomfortable, he was a good looking guy and all but he didn't even know him!

"Well we're here, it was nice getting to speak with you. It'll be 5 dollars" Finland hurriedly paid the man and got out of the yellow cab, triple checking to make sure he has his plane ticket he walked in to the airport. It was a nice airport, not to busy since it's a Sunday but still busy enough he'd have to wait a couple minute in line to board his plane. Looking at his watch he saw he had a half a hour until his plane left so why not go to Starbucks?

"Hello i'd like a Hot Chocolate" Finland said happily, Hot chocolate was his favourite drink its so nice and warm and it instantly cheers whoevers drinking it!

"You sure? I mean it's kinda fattening..." The barista said looking Finland up and down with a disgusted look on her face.

"Yes i'm sure." Was this a regular thing in America? Well who knows...

"Kay, name?"

"Tino"

"Kay Tina we'll call your name when your drink is done." The barista said as she started working on his drink

"Thank you!" Finland said as he sat down in one of the airport chairs, _it is kinda fattening...maybe i shouldn't get the hot chocolate...but its hot chocolate! How could anyone say no to a hot chocolate! But i am a little chubby...well i already ordered it i might as well get it! She didn't even get my name right though that's kinda rude..._

"HOT CHOCOLATE FOR TINA" a voice called, snapping out of his thoughts and getting up Finland paid for the hot chocolate happily. Glancing down at his watch he had 15 minutes until his plane took off, that's plenty of time to get his bags and everything. The thought still stuck with him though _maybe i am a little to chubby..._

 _-End of chapter one-_

 **That was Chapter one! I hope you all enjoyed it! Now i like to do these little explaining's at the end of chapters for people who don't understand or have questions in need of answering. I think the chapter turned out alright however i'll still try and make the chapters better, to me it seems like i rushed things yet slowed things down in this chapter. Well the character is Finland! I guess i by accident made it seem like a guessing game of sorts? XD now there's almost a reasons for everything in this. The reason why i chose Finland is because well when ever i see a post about Finland there's always someone who points out how "Feminine" and "Curvy" he is. In real life if someone would constantly be told that they probably would either take it as a giant compliment or go down this path, also there's hardly any eating disorder FanFics with Finland as the main character suffering it so i felt the need to add one. Now i didn't wanna make this cliche either with France as the giant pervert who says the wrong thing or Russia as the rude person trying to ruin the character. America wouldn't probably see what he says as a insult or a trigger to something greater so that why i kinda made him the 'villain?' i'm sorry if i ruined your ship of Finland X America but this is how things are gonna happen in the story. I actually met Baristas like that who i wanted to punch in the face since there so goddamn rude, i don't really have a explanation for the Cab driver but i feel like it makes the story somehow better? Now Finland being the adorable little character he is would probably question himself if its bad or not, while others would be like "nope to many calories" i feel like Finland would be like "But what if..." so yeah XD Please Review it makes my day!**


	3. Chapter two

**THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! It's great waking up to reviews! Thank oh THANK YOU for the reviews! Thank you all for the reviews but if you see anything wrong with the story like me not getting facts right or things like that please tell me! Now this is up to you guys to decide but i might make a new story! It would be a AU where the countries are Human and Youtubers. Also would it be bad if i added in SuFin? Yay or nay for Sufin in the story? Anyways on to the story!**

 **-Chapter 2, the new diet-**

* * *

-Finlands POV-

The flight was somewhat nice, a little girl kept kicking my seat demanding that i as Santa needs to give her presents. How did she even find out i'm Santa? Maybe little kids just know this type of stuff, oh how great it is to be back in Finland! I missed my country so much, being in the Nordic house* is nice and everything but its not the same as being in your own country.

Walking in to my house i got assaulted with dust, dust everywhere! It has been a while since i been here...oh no! I might of left some food in the fridge! It would be rotting! Walking to the kitchen i noticed a foul smell coming the kitchen, yup i defiantly left food in the fridge. Geez i'm a idiot! Well it looks like i'll be spending the day cleaning.. Emptying out the fridge was nasty, god i have so much fatty foods. Whose idea was it to get all of that? I finished cleaning up with dust all over me but a new cleaner house. My phone began to ring the Norwegian anthem telling me its Norway calling, i have a little debate but ultimately deciding to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Finland its Norway, where are you? Everyone's at the house" able to sense the worry in Norway's voice after years of practice.

"Oh shucks i forgot to tell you guys! I'm at my personal house in Finland, i'm not gonna be home for a while" I replied sheepishly

"Oh alright, don't be to long or else i'm sending Denmark and Sweden after you" Norway hung up after that, probably to make Dinner or something like that.

Well now that the house is clean i can search up that chart thingy, BMI i think its called. Grabbing my laptop and thanking the unlimited WiFi for countries* i looked up the BMI chart. Let's see the last time i weighed myself i was 156 pounds and i'm 5'7 so that makes me...overweight? B-but oh no! This isn't good at all! I could be even more then 156! I could be 168 or 200! Oh nononononnononono...i'll go on a diet! Yeah that's what i'll do!

Looking at the websites of the diets none of them seemed to really stick out, i don't feel like just eating vegetables or fruits to loose weight. Clicking on a website called "Pro Ana diet" my eyes were forced upon a purple and white website a 13 year old would use, it showed someone probably the blog owner way through this diet. I clicked the top right where it said "Pro Ana diet for guyzz!"looking at the diet it didn't seem to safe... Well i'll have to do it!

I mean if i wanna get back in to shape then i gotta do this, theres no easy way to loose weight. I decided to explore the website more, clicking on the "Talk to other users~" i was shown a chat board. Making a account on the website wasn't to hard, i just had to make a username, add my email and make a password then boom! It was done. Looking at the chat board i was astonished by how many other users were on here, not wanting to look like a creep watching others conversations i started to type.

 _flowerboy: Uh hello, i'm new here._

 _AnaGurl: Omg Hay! Welcome to the Ana lifestyle, may i ask your Gender and Weight if you don't mind?_

 _Flowerboy: 156 and i'm a guy, i need some advice for getting food. What should i buy and not buy? The diet just says not go over 500 calories a day._

 _AnaGurl: Omg a guy! This is a first, well anyways i suggest buying no sweets so when you start to binge you won't get as many calories, avoid bread and pasta and things like that okay?_

 _Flowerboy: Thank you, do not many guys do this?_

 _AnaGurl: Nope, most just exercise the heck out of things. What's your goal weight?_

 _Flowerboy: I don't know, i just wanna lose the weight. Any suggestions?_

 _AnaGurl: Hmm since your 156 pounds i would suggest 130 or 120 for the start._

 _Flowerboy: Thanks, i gotta go shopping now._

 _AnaGurl: Are you gonna be on again?_

I wasn't planning on coming back here...well whoever AnaGurl is seems nice and wants me to come back. I might as well right? It won't hurt to make some more friends!

 _Flowerboy: Yup, thanks for the help. Seriously._

Signing off i walked to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, god i was so big! my sides are HUGE and my thighs are disgusting! How could i let myself go like this? i mean it's disgusting! Was my chin this large before? All those girls on the website who were talking about "Thinspiration" were all so skinny! They all had flat stomachs and the guys in the diet for guys all had such skinny bodies, i really need to get a move on!

I got the dust off me and my clothes, grabbing a pen and paper i began writing down my grocery list for what to buy.

 _Grocery list_

 _1: Water bottles for running_

 _2: Diet sodas_

 _3: Some snack bars_

 _4: Carrots and other vegatables_

That's pretty much all i need, the diet does say to not eat a lot. Well i should buy a Scale and maybe a mini book so i can track how i'm doing! Yeah that's what i'll grab! It's a shame i can't buy salmiakkia, it's so tasty! But i gotta stick to the diet! Well maybe if i cheat once in a while then it'll be fine, it's only a diet! I grabbed my coat, wallet and the new grocery list and walked outside. I wonder when it started to rain*? That's weird.

- _End of chapter two-_

* * *

 **I feel like i failed with this chapter, like i rushed it at the beginning then slowed it down so much. But anyways i sneaked in some headcanons of mine, i believe that the Nordics all share one house in one of the Nordic countries for a few years then they move to another Nordic country and live there for a couple of years. Now i see that Countries have to have unlimited WiFi by demand from their bosses in case a emergency ever happens and they need to reach their boss or another country. Now a lot of peoples headcanon is that when a country is raining their country representative is crying, now i like this but that means that England would constantly be crying so i kinda altered it to make it that a countries weather represents their actions, like rain means that's a bad idea to do this. So yeah, i saw some Pro Ana websites and i instantly knew i should add a pro ana website in to the story. I saw some users talking about Ana Buddies to help them threw so you know i added that in there to. Not all Pro Ana blogs are bad, most are used to help people with Anorexia cope so please don't go hating on them. Not everyone owns a scale so that's why i had Finny guess his weight. I'm Canadian with very little knowledge on the place Finland so please tell me if i got something wrong. Also please tell me whether or not you want SuFin and if i should write a Youtube AU for the Hetalia cast.**


	4. Chapter three

**Shout out to Elina Vargas and Savarra for commenting on every chapter! I love reading your guys reviews!**

 **THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS AND I'M SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE TIME IT TOOK FOR A UPDATE! I'M CURRENTLY WRITING THIS AT 12:32 AM SINCE FANFICTION HAS FINALLY BEEN WORKING AND LETTING ME GET ON MY ACCOUNT TO WRITE/UPDATE STORIES! Seriously though i'm extremely sorry for not being able to update this story! Since you all voted YES for SuFin then it shall appear in the story! As for the youtuber AU i will start that around 6-10th chapter of this story! Thank you all for the reviews (I LOVE READING THEM!) and being patient for the update of the story, you all rock!**

 **Alright so, when the worlds are like this: _blobdedapop_. It's when Finland is thinking! I thought i should give you all a heads up.**

 **IMPORTANT: since i have to prepare for school the chapters will either A.) Come out longer yet take longer to update the story. Or B.) Shorter chapters come out around the same time span it takes right now. Thank you for reading this.**

* * *

 **Chapter three: Voices?**

Finland walked in to the grocery store, list in hand he sought out the very little on his list. He First grabbed the scale in the fitness section of the store along with some protein bars, Zero calories and only 2 grams of fat for every 4 bars thankfully. Next stop is the Vegetable isle!

Sadly the sweet's isle was so close to the Vegetables, _why WHY must they keep them so close? Oh the salamakki is practically yelling at me to buy it! Oh the Ässä is just sitting there ready to be bought! No Tino, you are going to get the vegetables then buy the rest of the stuff. You must stick to this diet! OH MY GOD IS THAT DUMLE?_

 _Wait no we can't get Dumle either me, just buy the groceries for this diet. GODDAMMIT ME STOP LOOKING AT THE CANDIES! YES GOOD JOB MOVE YOUR FEET. Alright now you got the vegetabl- STOP LOOKING AT THE CANDIES._

Quickly turning his head away from the delicious mass of treats he walk- Errr Sprinted down the aisle to get away from the heavenly amount of deliciousness. Grabbing the diet sodas and bottled waters there was only one last thing to grab. The Tracking Book.

But oh no, there was a problem. 30 year old moms were swarming the fitness book area, they were all after that one book. Tracking book for ladies! (*Cough* There were no other books sadly *Cough*) It was brand new, ONLY ONE BOOK REMAINED!

The 30 year old moms were all fighting over that one special book, Finland silently crept up to the un-touched copy and grabbed it. All the heads turned his way, it was silent for 30 seconds while Finland had a deer in the headlights moment until.

"HE GOT THE BOOK!"

The crowd of 30 year old mothers gave a ferocious yell at charged at Finland while their husbands held their children. Running for his life or what seemed like that as they chased him around the store. After what seemed like years when it was really only 5 minutes he found the exit.

Throwing money at the cashier like no body's business he dashed out of the store. Car? Who needs a car! This Finnish man has a hoard of 30 year old ladies after his book! Finland was able to escape the ladies as he ran all the way home and Hurled open the door.

Panting like Hanatamago after 5 hours outside on a hot sweaty day Finland threw himself on to the couch.

 _Well, at least i got the required amount of exercise! Why were there so many girl's after this book? Oh yeah this was the last one left. Oh no! I was so rude to them! I should of given them the book and just went to another shop find the same book! God i'm a failure..._

Sighing he got up and dragged himself to the computer, looking down he got 5 Messages from Su-San.

 **Su-San: Hey Fin are you there?**

 **Su-San: Are you alright? Norway said you're in your country right now.**

 **Su-San: How was the flight?**

 **Su-San: Finny, are you okay? If you're mad at me tell me :(**

 **Su-San: I'm sorry if i did anything wrong Finny.**

 _Oh great! Look at that you let Sve worry about you, didn't you say to always have your phone with you?! Just respond then go on the diet website simple as that. You can't muck this up!_

 **Finland: Sorry Sve! I was at the grocery store. I am in my country and i'm not mad at you at all! I have no reasons to be mad at you in the first place, i need to go make some dinner now so i'll talk to you later!**

 **Su-San: Oh alright, if anything is troubling you then tell me. I love you Finny have a great dinner.**

 _There we go, Sve is taken care of now so go on the dieting website and real the rules._ Finland was tempted to tell Sve what he was doing and send him the whole diet page, they're dating (Though Sve loves to think they are married) it only make sense to tell each other what they're doing but his thought's seem to repel at the thought.

 _NO! YOU ARE NOT TELLING SVE ABOUT WHAT YOUR DOING!_ _It's for the best he doesn't know. Now get your butt to work and look at the diet website!_

Finland didn't like this new voice in his head, in fact a voice in your head is hardly good news at all. This voice was yelling over a tinnier voice telling Finland that this whole diet WON'T be a good idea. He sighed, why are there two voices in his head?

Shaking his head he got on to the website, clicking the "Rules!" he looked down at the many many rules of this diet.

"Well lets get to work."

* * *

 **EDIT: Thank you Savarra for pointing out my Mistake in spelling Angel.**

 **Well it started out funny but then it came down to sad again, I'm sorry if you now and forever hate me for making you laugh and then depressed... In the story (This isn't even a headcanon i'm just doing it for no reason) as pay back for Sweden calling Finland "Wife" he calls Swden "Su-San". Usually he'll call Sweden "Su-San" in English speaking countries where it's a feminine name. Now on to the two little voices in Finland's head are your "Demon" and "Angel". You know the 2 that sit on peoples shoulders? So this eating disorder is going to be Finland's "Demon" where it takes over his mind (Like many eating disorders tend to do) and soon much more. The "Angel" is going to be Common Sense. Common sense will tell you that these types of "Diets" are extremely dangerous, however we don't always go along with Common sense do we? Thank's for reading the chapter's of this story and please review! It makes my dy reading reviews!  
**


	5. Chapter Four

**Damn i feel like a asshole, last chapter i was making promises for updating and such but now its been like 2 weeks and no update so i'm sorry. This will be a Sweden POV chapter so i can complete homework and then work on the longer chapters for Finland. Also i constantly see people Complain about the way Sweden's speech is written with the vowels removed so i decided not to do it.**

* * *

 **Chapter four.**

 **Swedens POV:**

 _Something doesn't feel right... wait wheres Fin?_ Looking around i saw only myself and the 3 other Nordics, where was my beloved wife?

"Wheres Tino?" I felt myself beginning to panic, what if Russia attacked his country again*?! What if he got kidnapped! Oh god he probably got kidnapped and is being sold somewhere right now! I'm a horrible husband, i let my wife get kidnapped and sold!

"Calm down Sweden, Norway's calling him. Geez man you're wayyy to protective over Fin. He's a strong guy you know!" Denmark's voice rang through the house as he walked over and ruffled my hair. Why couldn't Denmark be kidnapped and sold instead of Finland?

"But he shouldn't HAVE to protect himself, i should be there to protect him." Frowning and pushing Denmark away i went over to Norway to make sure everything was alright, i need to know how my Fin is!

"Oh alright, just don't be to long or else i'm sending Sweden and Denmark after you." Norway ended the call with a sigh and looked over to me.

"Fin's fine he's in his personal house in his country and will probably be staying there for a while." I let out a breath i didn't know i was holding in, Norway also looked much more relieved.

"So Fin wasn't kidnapped and sold?" Well...i just HAD to be sure. What if Fin was lying and had a gun held up to his head? What if Fin was in a car getting dragged to the person who bought him?! Fin is such a trusting person to which makes it worse! I'm sure Norway would be able to tell if he was kidnapped and sold.

"You have the weirdest thought process, "No Finland? He must of been kidnapped and sold"" Iceland said rolling his eyes as he grabbed his luggage as he carried it up to his room where he would blast his weird songs. How has that kid not gone deaf from his music?

"Darn Icelandic troll..."(COOKIES FOR YOU IF YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS FROM!) I muttered that under my breath earning a glare from Norway.

"No Finland hasn't been kidnapped and sold, for once i'm going to agree with Mathias you're far to protective over Tino." Something still didn't feel right, i mean maybe it's because Fin isn't here but something still feels off...it feels like he is in some type of danger of something. Nothing has threatened his country and his economy is doing quite well. Wait what if...

"What if he heard the comments today? It's obvious that he was listening to others talk, he could of heard what America said." Fin IS amazing in every where. The way he his a bit more chubby then muscular is so adorable and just makes him so much more friendly looking and hug-able, besides people's body shouldn't be judged it should be their soul and personality that is.

The sad thing is that there's so many people who judge others on their bodies and not their souls leaving the other completely disgusted with the way they look...what if that happens to Fin? Fin wouldn't starve himself, he's to smart for that!...Right?

"Geez bro, Fin won't let some petty comments about the way he looks get to him! He dealt with Russia for heaven sakes!" If looks could kill, Den would of been kill ten hundred times. God i hate this guy... Besides it's almost a rule not to talk about those times, even Norway looked shocked when Denmark said that. He should be renamed Dickmark. The name would certainly suite him.

"Finland wasn't the same when he got back from Russia, his eyes were purple and he was far more jumpy. It was obvious he was just acting happy to all of us instead of actually being Den. Besides even now he isn't the same as he used to be, don't be so idiotic" Norway said this quietly, it was a painful memory for all of us. Seeing my wife and to the other Nordics a fellow friend like that was horrible. It took years for Finland to get back to his usual self and then boom a war with Russia. Poor Tino doesn't get a break...

"Alright my bad but still, i'm sure he won't let some comments about his appearance take him down. He's not that weak like geez. Why does everyone see him as a what Ice would say "A Cinnamon role to pure for the world, to innocent" like that guy has seen some fucked up shit and knows how to shoot a gun effortlessly."

Well sorry for you Denmark but Finland is a Cinnamon role, he's MY cinnamon role you jerk. We're countries we all seen some fucked up shit but must you have put it ever so bluntly?

"We've all seen things Den but that doesn't mean Finland is any less Human, we're all some what human. We have human emotions so those things could of affected him."

Wow thank's for calming my worry down Norway, that sure makes it sound like Finland won't go starve himself.

"Look, Fin's a smart guy he wouldn't do anything he doesn't think is 100% safe. Obviously anyone with common sense can see that starving yourself is a bit strange. Besides if he does then Sve would know with his weird stalky wife 6th sense"

Why yes thanks for the compliments Denmark, everyone loves being told they have Stalker senses for their wifes. Thank you so very much.

"Den when a guy called you weak you basically drop kicked him instead of just ignoring him. The was neither 100% safe nor a smart idea so in fact Fin could go down that type of path."

Oh damn you Norway you realist. Why must you make my worry for Fin grow so much? Maybe i should text him...

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP ABOUT FIN? I'M SURE HE'S FINE LIKE I CAN'T HEAR MY MUSIC OVER YOUR OLD GRANDMA TALK" Iceland yelled from his room, god darn Icelandic troll...

"See?! He agrees with me! So lets just stop worrying over Fin who's probably eating some weird Finnish candy while watching a soap opera." Denmark walked over to the kitchen, tripping on his luggage the way there. He then re appeared with a beer. Why is it always beer?

"Hmph" With that Norway walked away with his luggage probably to go put it back in his room.

Well i'm sure some texts to Fin won't be bad.

* * *

 **I LOVE THIS CHAPTER THEN I HATE IT AT THE SAME TIME, Now i feel like i made Sweden extremely OOC since i made him talk a bit more then usual? However there is reasons the reasons are that i feel the need to have Sweden voice his worry for Fin. Also for some Headcanons I've seen and also use is that Sweden can think up so many things yet not always say them. Also i love when i see people portray Sweden as a jealous/over protective character, it's such a guilty pleasure of mine. Norway does show Emotions so that's why i didn't make him 100% monotone and emotionless because in episodes it's obvious he shows emotion. Now Iceland probably wasn't even listening to their conversation and just heard a bunch of chit chat so that's probably why he yelled at them. So thank you all for like waiting 2 weeks for the update! I have the best readers a writer could ask for!**


	6. Chapter Five

**oh god i'm sorry, school has been a pain in the ass and I've been sick. However now its time for a new chapter! Do you guys want a Halloween chapter once October starts (Tomorrows the first! So excited for it i have a feeling though i'm going to be posting this on October 1st).**

* * *

Chapter five.

Finland pouted as he looked in the mirror, his hands were gripping his stomach as he let a single tear roll down his face. He had done what the website told him to do, look at "thinspiration" while drinking water. Now thousands of thoughts ran through his head, most of them horrible but a few, a few were telling him nice things.

 _Oh god when did i get this fat! Why did no one tell me! Why do i not look like those other guys? Maybe i'm not to bad, i have some pretty nice skin...Oh god what am i saying? Nice skin ain't shit anymore, my stomach isn't like the guys stomachs on the photos.I'm a fatass, a absolute fatass._

Deciding to try out his new scale, he tore his eyes away from the mirror and picked up the plastic shopping bag. He poured the contents on to the bathroom counter, besides the massive amount of snack bars and diet sodas there wasn't much. The smooth grey scale shone against the sunlight on the floor as it was properly placed, Finland took a deep breath before stepping on the scale.

The numbers started to go higher and higher, Fin stared at the scale for a solid minute. His breath quickened and heart started racing, Sweat started running down his face as he tried to calm himself down.

 _164._

That was how he much he weighed, 164 pounds. To many it would of been normal weight considering muscle, he had muscle on his legs and arms, not as much as Sweden or Germany a course but he wasn't lanky. However that number tore at his heart, that was a number far over overweight on the BMI chart.

"w-Why..." he squeaked out, his heart was beating faster then it was before, it felt as if the weight of the world fell on his shoulders suddenly. He didn't understand how he gained all this weight or how.

"How did i gain this! I walk a kilometer everyday not counting the walks with Hanatamago! I mostly eat right to! Well i haven't started the diet yet...i hope i can loose a lot of weight!"

Finland found it confusing WHY he cared so much, perhaps it was the toned muscle men he had to look at for "Thinspiration" or maybe it was because he always have longed for another body figure. Feminine body types for males aren't the best to have outside of tumblr.

Whatever the reason was for this Fin made a silent promise to himself that he'd accomplish this diet of his, it'd be hard but he knew he could do it with enough self control. How else have those "Thinspiration" models done it? Besides the diet said there would be Improvements in the first month, He kept the little section about the side effects out of his head.

He didn't care what it took he'd do it no matter what. With that thought in mind he confidently stepped off the scale and continued on with his day, it would of been a nice day if his stomach wasn't growling so much.

"Stomach i know you want food, so do i but i NEED to do this diet. I already ate the 500 calories i'm allowed today so no more food until tomorrow, alright i'm sorry stomach." Finland was currently curled up on his sofa with a cup of water praying his hunger pains away, it felt as if someone was slowly dragging there nails across his stomach.

Not long nails that would prick his skin open but small sharp nails that leave those white marks that fade. It wasn't the nicest feeling in the world but it was bearable, besides he already made a promise to himself that he planned on keeping.

The remote now sat in Tino's hand as he flipped passed the channels, not much was on. He flipped past the midnight Ads and settled for a news channel, what can you really expect from late night TV?

" _New story coming from our news caster Helmi."_

" _Thank you, this story is a chilling topic so i highly suggest to remove young kids from the room. Eating disorders such as Anorexia, Bulima, EDNOS and many others have been tearing families apart. In our Beloved country eating disorders are relatively common in female adolescents._

 _As many as one in five adolescent females are or have been struggling with eating disorder related issues during their teenage years, it hasn't been estimated yet for the number of men in our country who suffer from it._

 _Parents need to check in with their youths online activity as some blogs called "Pro-Ana" blogs are able to send their kid down this dangerous path. These blogs leave a detailed "diet" of Anorexia ways sending your child to the beginning of this "Diet"._

 _The blogs tell the kids to eat little to no calories, these blogs often have "communities" of support,_ _This so called "Support" sends the child deeper and deeper in to this dangerous and deadly "Diet"._

 _Many have died because of this so called "Diet". If any of you teens or parents see one of these blogs please report it or try to get other off it, it isn't a safe thing for young minds. This have been late night news."_

The TV turned off as Finland sat in thought, This rang some sort of bell. He shrugged off the thought blaming it on the weird thoughts you get at night and headed up to bed, the Stomach pains didn't seem so noticeable now.

* * *

 **Wow so that was a massive character change xD So i'm posting this on October third so yeah, i'm serious though if you want a Halloween chapter let me know! I think this is a pretty self explanatory Chapter and for those wondering the "Icelandic Troll" reference from last chapter was from AphTextfromNordics a funny blog on tumblr.**


	7. Chapter six

**AHHH I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN NEARLY A YEAR ! I really don't have a excuse, i shouldn't of allowed this to happen! It's just i kinda lost motivation for this story and didn't know what to write. So i'm really sorry! Hopefully since it's been a year my writing has gotten a little better.**

* * *

A thunderous sound filled the bedroom that Finland slept in. The ringing of his alarm clock would not shut up, no matter how much time passed it kept up with it's deafening ringing sound. Until a hand reached under the covers and turned it off, then there was finally the utter peaceful silence once again.

"Stupid clock...gonna wake m' up...'m up" Tino spoke.

Sluggishly the fin slowly got up and wiped his eyes in the chance it might spark some new energy and wake him up more. Perhaps that was just wishful thinking but he felt utterly exhausted. His stomach ached for a nice delicious breakfast but his legs felt like lead. How could one be so tired he wondered.

"Maybe it has to do with not really eating, it isn't that safe.. but i need to lose weight. Whatever it takes i'll do it! I've been through worse anyway."

 _'You can't seriously think that? Such a failure like you ever managing to do it would take the world to burn, maybe not even then_ ' a small voice taunted him. It was sickeningly sweet but vicious enough to cause damage. Damage that Finland tried to fight against.

"Oh shut up, like you could ever do anything! I'll lose weight, i'll become slimmer and prove you wrong you know. Then you'll be the one who is a failure and not me, besides i was able to beat Russia from conquering me in the winter war. I made him pay, could a failure ever do that? No i don't think so!"

 _'Say whatever you want to smooth your ego but you'll always be a failure, such a pity you can't accept that. Look at yourself, would a failure ever allow themselves to have your body shape? Look at America, he's toned with muscles yet his country keeps fucking up. What excuse do you have?'_

 _'What excuse do you have'_ kept ringing in Finland's mine. What excuse DID he have? He let himself eat sweets, he left himself eat fattening foods and candy. Never once thinking about the consequences it may give him and his body. This is how he became how he is is it not? How he had those chubby cheeks he hated or those "womanly curves".

It was his fault, no one else's but his he reasoned.

Yet now that he thought about it food had always been there. Nearly all his memories had something to do with food. It differed from him starving and weak, being forced to watch as his fellow Nordics took his people, his citizens, the weak and innocent. The ones who had families and loved ones, who deserved to live a happy and peaceful life,and sold them as slaves. While it was still in the past he couldn't say he still wasn't bitter about it.

His citizens, his people, were sold off as far as Asia for crying out loud. Who wouldn't be bitter about something like that? Having someone who you see as family and just knowing what they've done to you isn't easy to deal with.

God knows how Ukraine is able to deal with her little brother.

Then another memory trickled in, the first kiss he had with Sweden. He could remember it like it was yesterday, some might of called it silly or that they were just both lonely from being on the road so long. Yet he knew it was real love, even if they didn't realize it at the time it did take a few years for either of them to actually pursue a relationship. For years there was always that spark that ignited the feelings in both of them when they remembered that kiss. Even if they were just teenagers, it was rather romantic.

Fondly Finland allowed himself to be swept up in the memory.

 _"So i was thinking we could set up here for the night? I can go get a fire started if you like.." the fin stuttered out. He subconsciously gripped his sleeve in a attempt to calm himself down. Why did his companion have to look like he may kill him? It was unnerving._

 _"mhm, i'll go set up" the swede said facing his "Wife" before taking their packs to the nearby trees leaving Tino somewhat alone._

 _"Oh thank Odin, i know it's wrong to think the worse of people but he's just scary. Then again i did think Denmark would stay sane but seems like i was wrong with that too! No matter what i say this will always be better then staying there. I really don't pity Norway or Iceland, i just hope they're okay.." he muttered to himself as he set the dried firewood they picked up on the road down._

 _He slowly tried to get a fire started and yelled in joy as the wood finally went aflame. Instantly all the pieces caught causing a blazing warmth of orange and red all held in a small circle from the rocks Tino earlier placed around the wood._

 _"Here, i thought you'd like some food." a voice announced behind him causing a shriek of fear to flow from his throat. He turned around quickly and saw it was just Berwald. Embarrassment was easily shown on both of their faces._

 _"Oh uh thank you.." Finland whispered out and took some of the food Berwald offered. The two sat in silence and ate as the flames roared and crackled against the dark night air. However awkward it might be was quickly washed away by the stars._

 _God were the stars gorgeous._

 _They were easy to see, even easier then when the two were in town. It seemed as though millions littered the sky up above them as they twinkled and cast their starlight on the two below. It was a beautiful sight to see, even to an immortal country._

 _"You have some food on your face"_

 _"Hm?"_

 _"...youhavesomefoodonyourface"_

 _"I'm sorry but i can't understand you.."_

 _"I said you uh have some food on your face"_

 _"Oh!" Quickly Finland raised his hands and blindly started wiping his face, trying to get rid of whatever food may be on it. He felt his face be gently lifted and had radiant blue eyes stare into his own purple ones._

 _His heart started to beat faster and faster as fear overtook him. Yet instead of anger or hatred of what he expected to see he was instead seeing looks of concern and was that fondness? It seemed as it was._

 _'Or my eyes are just playing tricks on me'_

 _Before he could ask what in the world Berwald was doing he felt lips crash on his own. Soft tender lips pressed against his and he came to the realization that Sweden, someone he thought hated him, was kissing him and surprisingly he found himself kissing back._

 _Though the kiss didn't last as long as they both would of liked he suddenly found Berwald pulling back as red as a beet making up some excuse that he was tired and needed to go rest._

Smiling happily at the memory Finland laughed. He remembered how Sweden avoided him like the plague for a few weeks after, always mumbling out apologies. With a sigh Finland realized this is why he needed to do this, not just for himself but for everyone else.

He wanted Berwald to be proud to call Tino his, he wanted Berwald to take pride that he was dating Finland, he wanted Berwald to be able to say that he was his and not have to think about how unlucky he was to date someone as huge as Tino.

"If i'm not even proud of myself why would he be proud? I wouldn't want some fatass with the weight of a killer whale. I doubt he wants that either, so really why isn't this diet a good idea? I'll lose weight, make myself healthier, make myself proud and happy and then have Berwald be much more happier with me."

"After all he does for me this is the least i can do for him."

It did make sense didn't it?

* * *

"Don't you ever feel like the worse is going to happen?" Sweden asked the three other nordics at the breakfast table.

"Let me guess, you're worried about Finland again? I told you he'll be fine." Denmark replied as he stuffed another pancake into his mouth.

"Geez i don't understand how Finland can deal with all your worrying. He's just taking a break, probably stuffing his face with some type of Finnish chocolate and watching the moomins or cartoon show." Iceland said while scrolling through his phone.

"They're both right you know, as we discussed yesterday he isn't in danger. He's not sold and kidnapped god knows where you got that idea from, he isn't starving himself nor is doing anything else self destructive. Really Sweden you should have more faith in him." Norway lectured as he poured himself more orange juice.

"Alright fine, you guys are probably right."

* * *

An Acidy bitter taste was left in Finland's mouth as he sat bent over the porcelain toilet trying to throw up everything he might of eaten. He felt gross, disgusting even as the warm putrid vomit left his stomach and went straight into the toilet.

It left a tingling, burning sensation in his throat and a acrid aftertaste. It hurt, god it hurt so much. His fingers were covered in spit and vomit, his own vomit, which just somehow made it that much worse.

He had to do it.

He had to do it, he had to throw up. That's what the diet told him to, that's what everyone does isn't it? Everyone forced themselves to throw up, that was normal. It had to be, the diet wouldn't of included it if it didn't help him lose weight.

 _'Good job, you can't even throw up correctly. Everyone else doesn't have it hurt that much. No they're able to accomplish it easily. That's why they're thin and you're still a disgusting fatass.'_ the voice taunted playing on Finland's fears.

Yet he couldn't even correct the voice, he was fat. He knew he was, there was no denying it. If he wasn't fat his thighs wouldn't touch, if he wasn't fat then his stomach wouldn't be squishy, if he wasn't fat then his cheeks wouldn't be chubby.

He was fat and hated it.

 _'Shh, now this is why you're on this diet isn't it? You'll lose weight and become so much more prettier then you are now.. just stick to it.'_ another voice in his head called out. This time it was different, this time it was a female voice.

This new voice seemed comforting and nurturing. God he was going mad wasn't he? Having these voices talk to him, having the one who makes him hate himself and then this new voice. These voices were going to make him go crazy, go mad. Then again they could just be there to help couldn't they?

They could be there to help, the nasty one might be there to keep him on track and this new voice would keep him from going too far. Then when he lost all of his disgusting fat off of his body they'd leave, having done their job of letting him lose weight.

That had to be it right?

* * *

 **I'm sorry for not updating in nearly a year, i'm really sorry about that so please accept this extra long chapter as a offering of forgiveness! Now Finland mentions how much worse it was with Denmark and to not go on a giant Kalmar union thing i suggest looking up the Stockholm bloodbath. That's just a taste of what happened during it.**


End file.
